18 December 2005

John Spencer died on Friday. He played Leo on The West Wing. For some reason, going as far back as when he played a lawyer on L. A. Law, I have always thought he was really sexy. He was only 58.

Thinking about John Spencer makes me consider my weird prediliction in terms of attraction. I like either really old men, or really young men who are wildly innappropriate for me. What is my problem? Maybe it's not a problem, but just a preference. Maybe it's the sex drive issue. Maybe it's some deeper psychological drive to either recreate youthful experiences or to repair my relationship with my father. This is sounding way too Freudian, even for me. What I have realized lately is that I'm only attracted to men who I perceive as really smart. Once they reveal themselves as stupid in even the tiniest way, they cease to be interesting.

This attraction thing works both ways. Old men are always flirting with me. They make comments about my toe rings, ask if they can rub my head, and generally look at me as if I am a particularly juicy piece of tropical fruit. One time a few years ago I was waiting in a doctor's office with my Mom. She was having a follow up appointment after cataract surgery. The waiting room was full of older people. I was wearing shorts and sandals, and of course my toe rings. I had just added a third toe ring. Across the aisle from us was a couple in their seventies. The male half of the pair was very pointedly staring at my feet. His wife noticed this, made eye contact with me, and then kind of elbowed her husband. He ignored her and kept staring. She finally said to him "Stop staring at her feet!" He then looked at me and asked me if the toe rings were uncomfortable. I told him no. Once my Mom and I got up to go in to her appointment, he winked at me. He was cute.

This kind of attention really intrigues me--and I often wonder about it. Why do old men like me? Why can't it be Vincent D'Onofrio flirting with me in the grocery store instead of Jimmy Carter?

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