I'm betting on number 9.

Okay, so I know this is mean-spirited and cruel and all of that, but I can't help myself. Dick Cheney has had yet ANOTHER heart attack this week. That makes five. How many fucking heart attacks can a person have before he dies? Especially when said person doesn't even really have a heart, since he is pure evil. Just saying.

So which one is going to kill him? Let's start a pool.

Double Plus Ungood

Well, this is not a good sign. The Justice Department, after years of wrangling, has cleared John Yoo and Jay Bybee (Bush Administration lawyers) of misconduct in the "torture memos" scandal. In other words, the two lawyers who crafted the memos that gave the Bushies permission to use waterboarding and other methods of "enhanced interrogation" are not going to be prosecuted. They did show "poor judgment" but will not be sanctioned or tried.

This is not only sad, but dangerous and misguided. We need to prosecute the people who were and are responsible for denigrating the constitution and the people of the United States.

Yes, it does exist.

A few months ago I had a post on "teenage spinach." Some of you did not believe that such a thing existed.

Well, I finally have photographic evidence. It's actually not a bag of the adolescent leafy green, but rather a sign that says there is the stuff. Here it is!

Damn, I forgot to remain pure!

Apparently tomorrow, Valentine's day, is being called the Day of Purity by the Liberty Counsel. Wow--what a great idea to have this day on Valentine's Day, so that everyone can stop and think a minute or so about how to remain "sexually pure in mind and action." What a wonderful way to show how much you love someone!

Although I think Valentine's day is a crock, I certainly think people should celebrate or not in any way they choose. I always send my Mom a valentine, because I love her so much! But really, a day of purity? They're just begging for me to make fun of them. Check out their lovely web site --you can buy a shirt! You can print out, sign, and carry around your own personal purity pledge card!

Dodge: you suck!

Okay, so I was very glad to see that the Focus on the Family Ad during the Superbowl was a big old waste of money for them. Ha.

But what I was not pleased with was this really stupid and offensive Dodge advertisement that essentially blames women for "making" men be decent humans. Assholes! Anyway, here's the stupid Dodge ad, plus a beautiful response from the folks at Washington City Paper. The response ad was created by Mackenzie Fegan and Paul Yee.

I trust women . . .

. . . to take care of themselves. That's part of the message this wonderful video Planned Parenthood has produced in response to the Focus on the Family anti-choice ad that will air on CBS during the Superbowl.

Congratulations, Kathryn Bigelow!

I'm very excited that Kathryn Bigelow has won the Director's Guild of America award for best director. She also directed one of the best vampire movies ever, Near Dark. She kicks ass as a director, and I love that she is the first female to ever win this award. I know, awards are stupid, but finally a female has won. This is important, especially since so many articles insist upon referring to her as James Cameron's ex-wife.

Yes, she is is ex-wife. Who cares? How is this relevant? Maybe they see it is significant because she is competing against him for the best directing Oscar, but I think the way their former relationship is characterized is interesting. Or stupid. Why not refer to him as her ex-husband? That is equally accurate. I think the reason they keep calling Bigelow his ex-wife is that they are unconsciously reminding women that our true value in life is to whom we are married (or owned by).

Here's a few examples: admittedly not all use this formulation!

Village Voice: James Cameron's biggest mission these days should be to beat his ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow, for a slew of awards!

Publicola: Bigelow is competing in Best Director and Best Film categories with her ex-husband, James Cameron, in a cinematic David-and-Goliath story with a gendered twist.

Daily Mail: James Cameron may be among the favourites for Oscar glory, but he has some tough competition from none other than his ex-wife.

The Times Online: And now only one thing stands between James Cameron and his chance to win the Oscar for Best Director at this year’s Academy Awards: his former wife.