12 March 2009

Non-breeders unite!

Marcy, the lovely Chi above, is my baby. I don't have a human baby. In many ways I have chosen not to have any children for what I consider ethical and social reasons.

Here's my gripe. Or question, rather. I have many, many dear friends who do have kids, and who lately seem to be having them more and more. I started this thing a few years ago (inspired by my friend Darcie) when my first local pal had a baby boy. I arranged a dinner delivery service for the new family by organizing myself and other friends to take dinner to said newbies every couple of days after the sprout comes out. I have done this now, either by organizing or participating, four times, for four different families. Four delicious dinners, made lovingly by me, for four very deserving new families. I don't mind that part.

What I mind is that there is no occasion when I am likely to get dinner delivered to me. Why is this? Why do we reward and celebrate reproducing, and not just life in general? Or some other non-reproductive achievement? It's much like Carrie's complaint on Sex and The City about supporting marriage (and not singlehood) with lavish parties and gifts. I object! Why do we celebrate only normative behaviors?

1 comment:

Woz said...

I totally agree, except that the fact that you do it for them isn't the point. That would make it seem like you do that so that they will do it for you, which I know isn't your intention. It's just like me getting amazing pots and pans for getting married and you getting $25 for earning your PhD from the same person. It's a warped idea of what is celebrated. I also do not have children. That is only because I was treated so poorly by my older siblings that I was terrified to do that to any other being. That being said, my colleagues take time off when their kids are sick. I don't begrudge them that at all, but what is there equivalent to me? Well, that doesn't count because I hate taking time off work anyway... Okay I have to go pack. :)