serious press release

Here is the complete text of a very serious press release issued earlier today by Drake University.

Suspicious backpack outside Howard Hall found to contain a toy gun

At approximately 8:02 a.m. today, a Drake University staff member called Campus Security after finding a suspicious unattended backpack on the exterior south landing of Howard Hall. A cryptic but nonthreatening note attached to the backpack contained the cell phone number of a Drake student.

Campus Security immediately responded and called the Des Moines Police Department, which sent the bomb squad.

While Campus Security officers kept people away from the backpack, members of the bomb squad took an x-ray of it. The x-ray showed what appeared to be a handgun.

Members of the bomb squad attached a rope to the backpack and dragged it away from the building and onto the lawn. There, they opened the backpack and found it contained a toy metal cap gun, a toy dinosaur and Twinkies.

The investigation is continuing as Campus Security and the Des Moines police question the student whose phone number was attached to the backpack.

A sweep of all other Drake buildings found no unattended backpacks or other suspicious items.

My only question is this: Twinkies?


October 16 update: Apparently there were no twinkies in the backpack, just Ho-Hos. A serious disappointment!